eeeeeeeh?

Sometimes I wonder why people even open their mouths to speak. Sometimes I wonder this about myself as well, but most of the time, I know how to keep my mouth closed.

Last Friday, I got all dressed up for my first day of work at the new location of Yarns, Etc in Chapel Hill. I had on a new heather gray pencil skirt, a creme tank top, and a pink pashmina. If I may say so myself, I looked pretty snazzy. Before heading over to Yarns, Etc, I stopped by the UL on campus to put in a few hours of work for the week.

As I was hopping onto my scooter (which was parked in front of the student stores) to leave, a gaggle of CTops mothers/grandmothers walked past led by a cocky incoming freshman boy. The women were all chatting amicably, and the boy laughed along with them without really listening, I think.

So when I first heard, "How much do you charge for a ride on that thing? *chuckle*" I didn't think it was directed at me. I mean, how could it be? I thought maybe it was just his little contribution to whatever the ladies were speaking of.

I turned to look at the kid to make sure I wouldn't run over him. That's when I saw he was looking at me with a goofy grin on his face, waiting for an answer. Apparently, I gave him too much credit.

I stared back, slack-jawed. If only I was quick with a comeback. I mean, that kid had to learn that you just can't say that kind of thing. It's not funny and it won't get you laid.

At first, I was shocked. Then, confused. Then, angry. And finally, amused. But if I had to say what I feel right now, it would be confusion again.

As I rode the curves of Franklin St. down the big hill to Yarns, Etc, I composed a great Twit in my head, but I forgot to post it once I got to work. I debated about whether to call the kid an idiot, fool, dufus, or what. It was only that evening while eating dinner with Matt's family that I remembered the incident.

I was a little surprised at the reaction I got from sharing the story with them. Matt's mom was offended for me. She prayed that the kid would never reproduce. We were all comforted by the thought of him trying these offensive-lame pickup lines that would get him kicked in the nuts, or, at the very least, slapped. We laughed and laughed about some lame pickup lines we've heard in our lives. Even the stupidest ones can get a sympathy laugh.

But I'm not sure where this line falls on the scale:

How much do you charge for a ride on that thing *chuckle*

In my opinion, it doesn't even deserve a place on the lame pickup line spectrum. It's not funny. And it's not particularly well composed. It's just some vomitous pile of words that carelessly fell out of the mouth of some idiotic-foolish-dufus incoming freshman. The greatest thing achieved by his mistake was this blog post. Enjoy.